ECP

wednesday was such a fruitful day. we did so many things in one day. breakfast at round 11 plus then moved on to wake boarding for 2 hours. i thought it was easy but i cant even complete half the round. the most i got was mayb about a quarter of the lake. lol. i think the ppl there also got sick of teaching me. it was tiring but exciting. Though i fell so many times and some of them i fell flat on my face. luckily my nose and lips are still in place. actually the lake is damn dirty with algae, seaweed, and some small water creatures. at the side of the lake is really gross and the ladder is full of moss. however, the fun i had is worth all the grossness that i endured. the next time i go again im so going to complete at least a round. after wakeboarding we went for dinner consisting of stingray, satay, chicken wings, lo bak kou, prawn mee all the unhealty food except of the coconut water. next was cycling and rollerblading. the last activity of the day was prawning. this really test my patience but at least i think its better than fishing. after 3 hours of prawning we only got 8 prawns and we went to one of my fren's house to cook the prawns. cooking our own caught prawns seems weird instead of sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. one of the prawns has a whole lot of prawn eggs in between its legs. we ate 7 prawns that night but we might have killed hundreds.

the temptations is just too strong for me to resist. sometimes i just cant help it even though i know its so wrong. i used to feel terribly regretful but now it just seems pretty neutral to me. its like whats the big deal.. maybe i should have stayed instead then i dun have to deal with all the shit from you. is that everything that i should devote myself to? im just tired of that already.

what is wrong about living the life that everyone is living? it just the process in life. you fall and u get back on your feet. i dun wan to be like you. why do u have to make me tell hundreds of lies? why cant you have faith in me that i will not turn out to be like her?!! must you catch every single word i said and tiny little action that i did and draw conclusion that im her?

please stop pressuring me...