scheming through the shelves i hope i can find a book that match my interest.. but there is no one book that fits everyone perfectly. nothing comes in package.. you have to customize your own book.
everything is just too subjective...
where is the key?.. the same door do not open twice.. yet i had it opened twice for me but i did not step through.. where does it lead to?
grass always seems greener on the other side.. its true until we've been on the other side.. now that ive been there i wish i could go back.
im too tired to take the next move...
the moment is getting near.. afraid it might strike me again...
whenever im near that point of stage i just thought maybe a few hours of escape would help but its reality that we are living in..
i might seems like a planner of life.. the truth is i don't make the best decisions and more often than not i regret my moves.
why do ppl do what they do? why do they do it even though they know there will only be the worst. why i do things i did? i have absolutely no idea. i'm not exactly the person who think only with my head. i do go with my heart sometimes but it turn out that my heart is the culprit to my unsatisfactions. maybe i should only trust my brain..
im thinking that i should mix with these new frens of mine lesser... they are kinda like the shadow of him.. it scares me how similar i can be...
i don't really like who i am but thats just who i am...
some self reflection.. upbringing really shapes who you will be... and i will definitely train my kids to have high self discipline.. if i ever have kids... i just don't think i will be a good mom. hahah. so better not to have any.
